Letter.

November 8, 2010

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to request that you exempt me from the rule against keeping pets in the dorms on campus. While I realize that this rule is vital in keeping the dorms clean, quiet, and safe, I feel that my request is reasonable since you require me to live on campus and my room is quite lonely without a pet. In addition, my friend Leonard meets the requirements of clean, quiet, and safe and would not be any trouble. You see, Leonard is a platypus.

I understand any alarm at her species, but please hear me out. Leonard has been raised to live indoors so the lack of a running river in Pattie Cobb would not be a problem for her. Leonard simply requires a daily dip in the lily pond or a good soak in the large bathroom sink. Platypuses are not loud by nature, and Leonard is no exception. You would not receive any angry phone calls in the middle of the night concerning loud noises coming from room 323- at least no more than usual. Platypuses are burrowers, but Leonard would just burrow into my blankets when it was time for bed. This way, she could keep my feet warm at night and we could save energy by turning the heat down in the winter. I realize that you may take offense at me feeding Leonard her proper diet of bugs, worms, and small crustaceans, but I can feed her outdoors and supplement her diet with Honey Bunches of Oats when the weather is bad.

In order to keep Leonard from becoming lonely and getting into mischief, I propose that she help out around the school. Leonard is very helpful in nature. She could help the maintenance crew fix the ever-broken lily pond or make deliveries, carrying letters on her “duck-bill”. Oh, and don’t worry, because Leonard is a girl, she doesn’t have a barb full of incapacitating venom. I checked.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my request. Leonard is truly a remarkable platypus and will not only be mindful of the rules you have set in place but will also bring joy to a lonely college girl.

Sincerely,

Kelsey